Even if you don’t want it and even if I never say it, you will always deserve it. You deserve it because despite all your shortcomings and all your letdowns, I know for a fact that you put yourself down than what is actually needed and therefore, I want to be a constant reminder that at the end of the day, despite all the bullshit we’ve both encountered and all the bullshit we will encounter, I want to tell you that you deserve a good night’s rest. And I don’t hope for only comfortable sleep for you but also, I want for you the nicest of dreams. And although it may not be of me but rather, of her or someone else for that matter, I want you to have it because you need it or maybe in truth, I need to be reassured that you have it because I need to know that you’re not feeling as lonely as I am. And in the morning, if ever I do rouse you, I want to wish you a good one because you deserve a greeting after that short journey far from the reality that is life. I don’t want for you to escape, I want for you to take a break and breathe a little but maybe that’s just me talking because in all my efforts to do so, I am engulfed into that haze of confusion that always settle in my presence at the thought of what is occuring or not occuring between you and me.
I’ll let you know though that tonight I plan on having a good night regardless of whether or not you are a part of what will become of me. However, I do fear for myself and my own dignity the events that will occur in the next 48 hours and even at the impossibility of it, I still want for you to be there at the moment those hours pass and I am free from the clutches of whatever may rein me down at the moment or in the near future.
